We needed spice, cripes--it had been about ten hours on the road from Orlando, Florida. Left at two in the morning following a gig at Will's Pub with those freaks from Satellite Beach, Glitterhick. They shouted "last call!" and we were out the door, piled into the midnight blue Toyota Tercel that would be our closest friend for the next 18 days and burned rubber for Louisiana. Thanks to the time zone change and Katie's lead foot, we arrived early enough in New Orleans to grab some Subway before heading over to Jazzland for our meeting with Marketing Coordinator Lisa Ross. In hindsight, this breakfast thing was a bad idea considering what was waiting for us at the park. Jazzland opened to the public on May 20th of this year and it satisified a craving that has been nagging "The Big Easy" since Lake Pontchartrain closed its doors in 1984. Jazzland seeks to emulate those wild and woolly boardwalk days and then adds a modern day dose of Creole spices to the mix. Witness the terror of Mega Zeph. "At Lake Pontchartrain, there was this old coaster called the Zephyr," says Jazzland General Manager Russell Melton. "But we decided instead of just duplicating it, we'd make it twice as big." With this edict, the plans for a huge, hulking successor to the legendary wooden thriller began in earnest. Park construction became apparent in August of 1998, but Mega Zeph wouldn't begin to take form until late during the project. No matter that. She was there with hells bells on when the first lucky riders got a date with a real southern belle. The ripe old sun had already squeezed us for our sweat's worth by the time we got inside the park and began ogling the ride. Because of its massivity, the best vantage point is while tooling along on the highway that runs next to the park. With 4,000 feet of track, it's twice the length of its predecessor and with some 40+ feet of height advantage. The structure is very much that of a wooden rollercoaster, but with a steel-frame support instead of shivering timbers. The actual track layout is made of wood though, so you get that "give" feeling when you sink to the bottom of every drop. The stylish art deco cars slip out of the station and take a slight dip before heading up the lift, offering a splendid view of the beautifully landscaped park. Then height affords you a good look at the track you're about to traverse and its strong, forceful undulations may fear or amaze you, but question not that you're still looking at it when the clack-clack slows and the cars begin to peek over that first hill. It's a slamming, jamming dive into that 110-foot screamer and the needle's pushing 65 m.p.h. as you rise gracefully and into a tightly banked 180 to the left. There's not a lot of time to sightsee at this point, though you're right above the water skiing lake. You'll get back to that later. With a nice reserve of speed pulling you forward, the trains plunge into another mammoth drop, crossing over the structure and heading into a smaller, yet still potent, camelback hill. The train is a chorus of screamers as the tracks shoot upwards, gaining height and twisting to the right, giving just a second to take a breath and eyeball the layout; you're only half done, 3, 2, 1 - dive. It seems that the speeds never let up on this ride, each turn is taken with such force that the track seems to buckle and sway as we squeeze through and charge on. Now, the cars drop and yaw, pitch and roll through some quick bunny hops before soaring up and into a gorgeous 180 degree swoop over the aforementioned lake. The lateral forces are still intense, even while engaging such a graceful manuever. It looked graceful from the Big Easy Ferris Wheel, anyway. At this point, it's easy to flashback to those carnival days of yesteryear when you'd take a ride on the old rickety, grime-caked wooden rollercoaster and swear to yourself that it would be a singular ride if you were allowed off alive. With another teasingly turbulent stretch of distorted track ahead of you, if you're begging for mercy now--the best is yet to come. Bounding over the lake and out back, you're faced with a series of small hills and at this speed, you'll find yourself counting the seconds of "seat-time" that you get. They're relentless in their attack, out of the bowl and then one, two, three and a diabolical double-dip on the fourth wave that rips a yelp from anyone who's not hoarse. To add insult to injury, another dive follows and then the trains arc up and into a powerful 360 degree spiral that flattens passengers into Pilsbury shapes before charging into the safety brakes and tipping towards the station. M'friends, I've been on a lot of coasters, not many of them could be considered "hyper-aggressive." Mega-Zeph doesn't play around, it throws its weight around and yours too, while it's at it. For hard-core coaster connoisseurs, it's a time trip to an age when the rides elicited screams of prime terror.

[Back to 2000 Tour Station]

Copyright © 2000 Cyber-Society Labs.