Eat This, David
What, we're supposed to fit through that? We hung out and rode all of my hometown favorites. Then, with an eye towards the east coast, we logged in some food and began the journey back. There were quite a few more adventures and you'll see them here in time. But at least here is a peek at the tour that was 2000. Another wild ride indeed.
Copyright © 2000 Cyber-Society Labs.
We couldn't report it last year, but Goliath had been sitting in the parking lot in pieces when we visited in 1999. From the looks of it, it was to be one hell of a rollercoaster.
This year, as we came tooling down Interstate 5, we finally got a perspective on just how huge this orange and teal beast really is. How much more humiliation must poor Colossus endure? Once the mightiest coaster on Earth at 125 feet high, it is now just a baby twister woodie serving as a footstool for what has turned out to be the most amazing ride of the year. Our crew arrived and met up with Amy Means in the parking lot. Amy and I both worked as ride operators on Psyclone in the back of the park. Now, she's a very busy PR woman - especially after SFMM's announcement that it would surpass Cedar Point as the park with the most coasters in Spring of 2001. Score one for the home team.
Goliath is a mind-bogglingly big coaster, it simply towers, seeming to defy even the nearby Superman. But it's this little element here that I'll call the "Toilet Of Never" which will capture the imagination and the terror of every rider brave enough to strap in. You don't know Gravity until you've been through a couple of spins in this party bowl.
It all starts with The Drop though. After climbing into the Hummer-like trains, the dispatch curves out of the station and connects with that gob-smacking lift. There's plenty of time to look around, down at Colossus, down at the "Toilet Of Never", down towards Bugs Bunny World. You could sing the National Anthem to yourself if you so desired, with time for the first pitch. 255 feet later, you're creeping over the edge of a skyscraper, pointing downwards, collecting momentum like wishes and falling at a 61 degree angle, piercing the air and pointing towards a pin-sized black hole in the ground.
As velocity increases, the hole gets larger, by leaps, then bounds, suddenly--close enough to see the mist seeping out of it, billowing in the space. Slamming through 120 feet of tunnel that passes like a finger snap and then cresting a lofty semi-circle high up in the air. This is where you take your breath and this is your last chance before the "Toilet Of Never" where there is no breathing allowed.
Then the second drop. Colossus is still looking small and wan down there as the trains shriek downwards and into one of the most exhilerating camelbacks you'll ever savor--you're hauling major ass at this point and the speed hill is subtle on its rise and decline, a sincere air-time moment. The coils and curves begin to close in and it's time you said goodbye to rational thought. As the train hurtles around this tightly wrapped stack of helixes, G-forces begin to take their toll. As much as you wish to look up and see what's taking place, your head will sag and it's all you can do to keep from smacking against the lap bar. This is black-out material, this manuever, and just when you think it's over, it slams down and crunches you into the seat again for spite before arcing up and over in search of the station. It's here, as the trains brakes, that all the blood comes rushing back into your body and you procede to itch for the next ten minutes.
Okay, so maybe it's not quite that severe a reaction, but we're a hardy coaster-riding crew and we found ourselves standing around shaking our heads, trying to get the numbness to go away. It's basically an amazing three-punch knockout. That amazing drop, the most beautiful air-time inducing camelback in the world and then the "Toilet Of Never", which effectively Cuisinart's everything together and sends you packing all in three minutes time and reaching speeds of 85 m.p.h. We really couldn't have planned it better--the crew agrees that Goliath took the prize for most amazing coaster experience of the year. Hear tell that the big bad boy will get a twin in Texas for 2001. This is getting' to be a habit.