It irked me to no end that we missed the debut of this spectacular new water ride by one day last year. Though we were able to see boats making their dry runs around the flume before we left town, it was precious little comfort. So, when the time came to plan this year's tour, my appetite for wetness was, well, whetted. It took only a simple e-mail to PR/Marketing Princess Dana Hammontree who has been wonderfully accomodating since the very inception of C2C, and she replied back, "Are you ready to get WET? Perilous Plunge and it's 'ejector seat' are waiting for you."

The ejector seat?

As if staring up at 121 feet of lift hill wasn't already unbearable or the heart-thumping drop of 115 feet at an incredibly obscene 75-degree angle wasn't enough cause for concern. Now here was the mind-boggling promise of getting some air-time on a water ride.

Created by Intamin AG of Switzerland, this mammoth scream-maker plants a very small footprint in a tract of land that was formerly home to Captain Kelly's food court, the old Greased Lightning spin-and-barf and the Starlight Pavilion where I used to watch hypnotist Tony Angelo do his thang while I sold popcorn in a little red cart across the way. But no tears were shed for these memories as I caught the first glimpse of a boat full of passengers diving down that awful drop. With a heady rush of sound, the craft disappeared into an explosion of water; it looked like a bomb had gone off somewhere beneath the shallow surface of the splash-down pool. Holy crap! I thought. Maybe I should buy a poncho. But that would be the chicken way out and besides, we'd dry out in the hot California sun, right? Wrong. Thanks to the wettest ride on Earth (and my two sons' love of Bigfoot Rapids), my shorts were still drying long after we had arrived back in Florida. So, knowing that this was one trip that was better suited for an underwater video camera, I got the shots that I needed and then began making the trip across the exit bridge towards the station.

It's one thing to come around the corner near the old Parachute Sky Jump and witness that 45-foot high wall of water surging out towards the bridge covered with screaming aqua-lovers. It's a whole other ball game entirely to see such a tidal wave aiming for your face. Unlike the other comparably wimpy water rides that pre-dated Perilous Plunge, this one makes it impossible to see the boat once it's embraced the deluge. That is, for more than a couple of seconds, both passengers and boat are completely immersed in the most wondrous maelstrom of H20 that you've ever seen in a theme park. The plumes stretch far and wide, projecting upwards and outwards with such velocity that they leave trails for crying out loud. That's to say nothing of those on the bridge, who probably get more soaked while observing than anyone who's actually on the ride.

Keeping in mind what Dana had said about the "ejector seat", I climbed into the back row expecting that to be the worst of it. With lap bar moderately in place (to allow for flight), the boat scooted forward and began climbing the lift with amazing speed. No time for second thoughts or sight-seeing; this would all be over in about a minute and a half. At the point where other water rides crest the hill and begin the slow 180 towards the drop, this one kept right on climbing to an unnerving height and then not-so-slowly slid off of the chain lift and started hauling tail for the inevitable. I distinctly recall changing my mind about the whole thing, casting a longing glance down towards terra firma and then we were at the brink.

Aiyeeeeeee! came the scream and I wasn't alone. My butt flew off of the seat and I grabbed onto the provided hand-rail like a sissy while staring straight down into the blue abyss. Then, the world turned white and foamy, vision totally obscured but for the magical dancing waters all around and about. It seemed to hang in the air, taunting and teasing. "Feel dry still?" it whisped. "We got a little something for ya." Then it hit. And hit. And hit. The first few thousand drops of water fell like a hard rain. The next few thousand gained intensity and there was a pattering sound as the afterspray soaked the boat. Then, like giant hands on my shoulders, the final sheets of water smacked me like buckets poured from a great height (is it over?) until we floated under the bridge and the great storm subsided. Not a dry spot to be found anywhere on my body, in fact - I was wet enough for three people and sloshed the entire rest of the day.

"Ejector seat" indeed. While you're still recovering from the sheer fright of that fall, you find yourself in a scene from "The Perfect Storm." Unbelievable. Perilous Plunge delivers the goods where other water rides have failed. Forget that it's short -- and thank your lucky stars that Intamin didn't see fit to make it even higher and wetter.

Though I'm sure they're working on that.