Roll over Beethoven (and everybody else)

It's just a brisk walk down Sunset Boulevard towards the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, which stands as the Imagineer's last great brain-scramble. What catches your eye as you turn left and head towards the non-descript studio building is the shiny steel track spouting from the neck of a flame red Fender Strat. Not to mention that said Strat is over 100 feet long and towers some 75 feet into the air. It's the flamboyant title card for the new Rock 'n' Rollercoaster at the Disney-MGM Studios and it also serves as the facade for G-Force Records, a label that seems to have been around since the very beginning as evidenced by the dozens of ancient gold records that line the lobby walls. Posters from the Fillmore rock shows of the '60's abound and display cases feature all kinds of recording industry artifacts, arranged like offerings from some tomb owned by Dick Clark. Never seen an 8-track tape player or clear pink vinyl before? Then, this queue will be a real treat. Two recording studios at either end of the room offer muffled aural glimpses of bands working on their craft while the intercom crackles with busy work. In a little while, we're informed that we're about to head into one of the studio rooms where Aerosmith has been doing some pre-concert recording. Take a good listen to the music as the doors open up, you'll get a real fat chuckle if no-one spoils the joke for you.

"Wow, Steve--you're so, like, nice!"

Once inside the recording studio, we see a few members of the band behind the booth glass, talking with an engineer as we hear changes taking place in the mix. When they look up and notice us, it's almost comical as everything comes to a dead halt. Their manager is furious that they're still here when the concert begins at any moment. Rushing them out the door, Steven Tyler protests saying, "what about our fans?" and indicating us--suggests backstage passes for the lot. "Where's my limo?" shrieks the manager as a long, slick, ulta-limo pulls up in the alley. She calls someone on the cel phone and does a quick head count of our group before ordering a "super-stretch." Assuring us that this mythical beast is waiting outside, she jets out the door just as the band shoves off in the limo with Tyler sticking out the sunroof bellowing, "to the Forum!" Our doors open up, and we're left to wonder how she fared. But frankly, we're much more interested in what's outside in the alley.

"Oh. My. God."

That's a lot of limo.

We've entered some sort of underground parking garage and just on the other side of the chain link fence is a cruising super-stretch limo. It holds 24 passengers, is dark grey and most definitely a Cadillac as evidenced by the ornate grill and distinctive shark-like tail fins. It stops at a tunnel with a flashing freeway sign and revs its motor, backing up a little. Then, with a burning of rubber and a full-throaty roar--this silver bullet slips away like mercury on a hot plate--ZIP! You blink, and it's gone in a pulse-quickening flash, but the speed rate of the departing limo can be effectively gauged by the receding volume of surprised screams. No matter how much you squint your eyes, there's no making out what happens at the end of that tunnel. I distinctly heard the phrase "Oh. My. God.", punctuated just like that, at least seven times in the crowd around me. A new era of Disney thrills indeed.

"Hey, that's Sonny Eclipse!"

The cast members are all dressed as valets, a cute touch. Once situated in our limo, we hear the grainy tunings-in of radio frequencies. An announcer clues us in that we're going to be hearing live Aerosmith in just a few moments and I recognize the voice as that of Sonny Eclipse, the ultra-cool lounge singer from the planet Zork who performs every day without fail at Cosmic Ray's Starlight Cafe in the Magic Kingdom. Steven Tyler shouts out some love to the fans in "that super-stretch limo out there" and with the first drumbeat, that insane launch kicks in and if you don't scream, there's something infinitely wrong with you. It's a face-plastering blast of speed that sends you rocketing into a dark tunnel from a zero standstill to 57 m.p.h. in 2.8 seconds. Laser lights brighten and the music grows in intensity before breaking off into a flurry of drums courtesy of over 120 speakers implanted within the limo.

Suddenly, you feel it--something you've never felt before at a Disney park. It's called being "upside down" and it happens so smoothly, you're questioning if it's actually happening when the first lighted set pieces blaze to luminous life. Two huge Skytracker beams arc towards the sky and you zoom in on them at an insane angle and realize that you've just come out of some hybrid roll-over loop. Zipping along in tight curves and sweeping dips, the limo bores straight through the Hollywood sign, soars past traffic lights and keeps it all kicking thanks to the pumping rock soundtrack that accents every twist and turn. Though it's a little odd to be hearing "Dude Looks Like A Lady" while spinning through the blackness in a Disney ride, it's a unique experience that adds excitement to the mixture through a total of three inversions and a cohesive storyline that fully involves you, right up to your arrival at the concert where the red carpet has been rolled out. Over 3,000 feet of track lay in the semi-darkness and the ride lasts a little over three minutes.

We only had the chance to ride twice, once in the back and once in the very front. Though you get a more out-of-control feeling on Space Mountain, this rock-fired trip is exhilerating in its own total sensory way. You'll swear that clearance is none-too-high for some of those fantastic sets, at least while rocketing through the deep orbit of space, you can only wonder if you'll get your hands chopped off. The track is well laid-out, you truly feel like the only limo in town (at least until the section where you're made to think--well, that's another surprise you'll have to endure) and the over 900 speakers situated throughout the sound-stage enhance the experience with booms, throttle-ups, burning rubber and raucous music cues. Quite a fun ride and it raises the bar for the Imagineers--who are already planning a heart-stopping new coaster for the future. What's that? The slap-fight between theme parks isn't over yet? Not on your life.