Calling this the "Southern Fried Leg" of the tour wasn't a bad idea at all, considering the weather. After leaving Alabama and driving through the night into Gatlinburg, Tennessee, we awoke in the morning to a rising heat index and newspaper tales of ground-level ozone pollution levels being sky-high.

Oh, nifty.

But the sky seemed bluer than I've ever seen it before and the Great Smoky Mountains, which were hidden from our sight under cover of darkness the prior evening, stood out and boldly welcomed us as we drove the scant five miles into Pigeon Forge, birthplace of Dolly Parton.

One of country music's most enduring and endearing artists, Dolly lived a modest childhood in these gorgeous mountains and in 1986, she lent her name to a theme park that would capture the beauty, charm and simple joys of the region. After a quick breakfast, we met up with Ellen Liston, our media contact, and immediately made our way towards the back of the park, an area called Craftsman's Valley. Here, artisans demonstrate traditional techniques of woodworking, blacksmithing, even the creation of lye soap. But as we got closer to our destination, it was evident that a theme had begun to beg our attention.

The Tennessee Tornado is based on two vivid memories from Dolly's childhood; one was the remembrance of a twister that came hollering through the valley one dark and stormy evening. The other was a belief that if you tunneled deep enough into the mountain, China was sure to be just on the other side. Let's just say that the newest thrilling addition to Dollywood is a bit of dream and memory fulfillment.

The ominous signs of twister damage lead the way to an area that use to be home to the Thunder Express runaway mine ride. I don't think many will miss it. The new coaster, which opened on April 18, 1999, is a real kick in the pants--so much so that even Dolly herself won't ride it. The tracks plunge deep within the carved recesses of the Great Smokies and rush around the awe-inspiring surroundings with a fury. Taking our place in the front-seat, we prepared for the storm.

After dispatching, the train eases through the switch-house and engages the lift--then picks up radical speed. This is one quick lift, so you'll only have a moment to enjoy the breath-taking scenery off to your left.

It's like a chain-lift to Heaven. There are only two-coasters in my experience that deliver such an incredibly natural treat. One is the stunning view of Lake Erie afforded from the second drop of Magnum XL-200. The other is the Smokies in all their glory, unfurled, unspoiled and--uh-oh, we're all out of lift! Hang on tight, we're going down! But no, we're not doing the dive just yet, just a right turn into a speed bump/curve, spiraling low over the mountain soil. Picking up speed, the cars crest a rise and then not-so-slowly peek over the top of what is most definitely not a "teaser hill."

It's here that the faint-of-heart may want to step off--but really, it's too late to turn back now. I believe-I believe-I believe we're falling real quick!

My first thought was, "are we gonna fit through there?" Though it's surrounded by sheet rock and cement bunkers, the hole just sort of dips into the side of the mountain and doesn't show any sign of returning from the depths. For a teasing moment, the train hung there and let us contemplate the Maw Of Nothingness, slipping over and into the chasm with an acceleration that defies understanding, and then there was no time for thinking anymore. The train gathered speed and plunged us right down into that blackness, quickly enveloping, yanking the screams out of our bodies in a 128 foot drop straight through the mountainside. At this point, a mind-blistering speed of 63 m.p.h. tugged at our faces and hair, lending voice to our terror. Scariest thing; no light at the end of this tunnel.

It's a surprising fall, one with a lot of guts. Lights flash and somewhere towards the end of this plummet, shards of sunlight blasted into our eyes as the cars leveled out and then headed upwards into what is absolutely one of the hugest loops you'll ever have the great pleasure of slinging through. The first of its kind in the world, the great amount of hang-time available to hungry thrillseekers in this "loop screw" is purely delicious. It's a unique design, standing 110 feet above the rocky soil, and let me tell you something laddies and gentlewomen. You hang in the top of this monster for a good, long time. Long enough to realize that you've been up there for awhile and are about to increase your speed again with the next element. The train arced upwards then fell, blazing down and into a wickedly banked right turn. This could almost qualify as an inversion itself, one of those Mercedes-Benz track-type turns and it struck me at this point how incredibly smooth the entire experience was.

The train does a throttle up and goes for the gold, heading into the signature element of the coaster, duplicated nowhere in the world. See, the symbol of Dollywood is a butterfly, and Dolly wanted one of those in her track layout. What she got was a sweet dual-inversion called "Dolly's Iron Butterfly." No, it doesn't sound sweet at all--it sounds like it will tan your hide while it's at it--but as the red-lining kicked in from that high-powered bank of a turn, the butterfly came into view. Moist soil and tree smells greeted our nostrils as we dipped down towards a small body of water and up into the first inversion.

Swoop!

We glided towards the sky with a velvet touch and then hammered down into my seat, I had the chance to snap a picture while spiraling into the second half of the element. Though the train was still dishing out some serious speed, it seemed that there was plenty of time to take in the surrounding beauty, the natural layout of the gorge into which we were diving, the designers milking every bit of the terrain for surprising moments of gentle terror. I could make out a rock-lined creek bed, young saplings, some standing pond-water, all while hanging upside down like a bat. We swooshed into the second half of the iron butterfly and hauled out of there with a fierce kick, into a speed valley and then flattening us through another highly-banked curve that sent us skipping up a speed-bump and aggressively into the brakes.

And that was in the front seat. After taking another ride in the middle of the train, we soon discovered that the first drop should be experienced from the back seat if you want to get on a first-name basis with God. Taking absolutely nothing away from Arrow Dynamics, the ride's designers, this is probably the smoothest coaster they've ever created. You blast through 2682 feet of track in just under two minutes, every slope a graceful dive, every loop a well-balanced dish.

The Tennessee Tornado is a stellar creation, exciting and graceful at the same time. Oh, and you can't beat the mountainous surroundings, especially when you're tunneling down through the very center of them. And if that treat weren't enough, there's a little indoor coaster called Blazing Fury that features a burning town, collapsing bridge, runaway train and an unconventional approach to coaster design that results in an imminently surprising finale. Thrills and chills at a park best known for its country music and crafts? You betcha.